On the news yesterday, the big story was about Mohu, a toy poodle from Japan who was labeled The World’s Cutest dog. Mohu is the roundest and puffiest dog I’ve ever seen, and I have two toy poodles and love fat dogs.
A quick google search reveals that this dog has gone viral. Between Instagram and Tik Tok, Mohu has 120,000 followers. The New York Post had this to say about the portly pooch.
The world’s cutest dog’ is completely round: I look at this dog when I have a terrible day.
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I showed others pictures of this puffy fluff ball to find out what they thought. Much to my surprise, Floridians think this pup is the pits. Delray Beach resident Judith Harch had this to say.
It’s an ugly dog.
A resident from the Panhandle who wishes to remain anonymous said:
That dog sucks.
Those are some fighting words. I consider myself an expert on all things adorable, so I thought I’ll be the judge for the cutest dogs in Florida. I have considered unique markings, facial expressions, soulful expressions, unusual qualities, and puffery for this elite competition. Remember that if you didn’t submit a photo, you had no chance of making the top 17, and the fact that you did nothing to get on this list might explain why you probably will never win anything. If you feel I made the wrong decision, this is an excellent time to learn that life isn’t fair and people judge a book by its cover.
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The submissions for this vital contest have been numerous. I’ve seen everything from the very cute and original to the downright shameful. Jack Furnari, the founder of Florida Jolt, tried to scam his way into getting his mother-in-law’s dogs a coveted Top 17 spot. Seemingly innocent Jolt employee Amanda Silvestri sent me pictures of not one but two of her dogs. She even threw in some guilt-inducing comment about one of them being a puppy-mill rescue to try to manipulate the outcome. Jolt’s Editor & Technology Operations Director, Lisa Gaal, attempted to get in on the action. She dared to try to appeal to my sense of civic duty by sending a picture of one of her dogs wearing an ‘I-Voted” sticker. Neighbor Nancy Weissman tried to get in the game by sending me a picture of two stuffed animals that looked like sheep. For shame. I’m embarrassed that you all tried this, but I will admit that all dogs submitted are adorable.
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Other entries came as a surprise. Republican activist Donald Tarca sent a picture of Abigail, his cat, who identifies as a dog. Don, this is a conservative media outlet. Your cat is a cat, even though she says she’s a dog. Get over yourself, Abigail.
I know that everyone loves their dogs. Some of you just sent in your submissions too late. The contest had to end at some point. Next time, remember that the early bird gets the worm. To those of you who only submitted a picture after finding out an article was being written, for shame.
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For the rest, know that if your dog didn’t make this list, it just means that your pup wasn’t as good as the other dogs. It’s nothing personal, but you’re not getting a participation trophy just for showing up. If you are one of the lucky ones who made it to the top 17, you are essential and can revel in a smug feeling of superiority, knowing that your dog is better than everyone else’s. Congratulations.
Merry Christmas. Happy Hanukkah. Above all, Merry Joltmas.
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If you think your dog is cuter, please post a photo of it in our comments section!
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