News flash. Democrats, at least the woefully out-of-touch ones on T.V., are now claiming white women are stupid and have ruined their lives by exercising their voting privileges, which brings us to news that Dems are going nuts, and it’s not just because of beloved squirrel P’Nut. Also, in this week’s column, conservative men over 50 are the most masculine, Dems threaten to leave the U.S., delicious Italian food comes to West Palm, and New York Accents are sexy. Read on for this juicy news and much more.
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There Had to Be a Reason Trump Won – Blame It On Uneducated White Women
As soon as the presidential election ended, T.V. pundits immediately started analyzing why Kamala, whose campaign ended up costing over a billion dollars, lost. The consensus with these geniuses seems to be that white women voted against their interests.
On election night, MSNBC anchor Joy Reid attacked white women. “Black women came through for Harris; white women did not. This will be the second opportunity that white women in this country have to change the way they interact with the patriarchy.” “The View” host Sunny Hostin blamed the loss on “uneducated white women” who voted against their reproductive health freedoms.
They’re missing the point. President Trump is now in office because Democrats didn’t understand what regular voters wanted. They couldn’t recognize what people were unhappy with and didn’t understand that their priorities weren’t the same as those of the general population. Democrats lost because of their bad policies. It’s as simple as that.
Dem Voters Go Mental
One business that’s already seen a significant financial boost since the Presidential election is therapy. According to the N.Y. Post, 69% of people feel anxious about the presidential election results. Traumatized Kamala voters are seeking mental health treatment. Here’s some advice to save them money. Get over it. Your life will go on.
Fema Swamp Creature Fired
One of the most outrageous stories since the election is the discovery that a FEMA official told his team not to help any people in Florida with homes that have Trump signs. This swamp creature has, thankfully, been fired.
Antisemitic Death Plot Against Congressman Foiled
Florida Jolt published an article about a From the River to the Sea teacher only a year ago. A year later, the war in Israel continues to rage, and antisemitic incidents seem to be escalating around the world. Florida Congressman Jared Moskowitz (D-Broward) has revealed that a man was recently arrested near his home in Margate, Florida, in connection with an attempted plot on his life. The man, a convicted felon, was carrying a manifesto with antisemitic rhetoric. Moskowitz’s name was on his “target hit list.” The man who was carrying a rifle at the time was arrested.
P’Nut Allergy
According to the N.Y. Post, the death of beloved pet squirrel P’Nut was one of the reasons Donald J. Trump is the president-elect. Voters were disgusted by the government’s overreach, and let’s face it, killing someone’s adorable and beloved pet right before an election, during a time when many are feeling a general sense of distrust for the government, just isn’t a good look.
Boys will be boys
According to a new poll by Pew Research, views on masculinity vary widely by party ideology and generation. The poll found that 60% of conservative men describe themselves as “highly masculine”! Compared with 20% of liberal members, 53% of men over 50 said they were highly masculine, but just a quarter of 25% under 50 said the same. Dads, bring on the toxic masculinity and give your sons a healthy sense of manhood.
Miami Accent 7th Sexiest in America
According to SecretNYC.co, the second sexiest accent in America is the New York accent. I don’t know who these expert sexy accent judges are, but Florida Jolt’s Jack Furnari, a man with a New York accent straight out of central casting, disagrees. He says, “B.S., it’s number one.” So does yours truly, a former New Yorker who a London cab driver once told that she sounded like a gangster. If NYC Gun Moll isn’t sexy, I don’t know what is.
According to this unquestionably scientific study, the number one sexiest accent is a “Southern” accent, which seems sort of broad and general, but I’m no accent expert. The list starts with the sexiest: Southern, New York, California, Texan, Boston, Midwestern, Miami, and last, Chicago.
More than half of Kamala Voters Want To Leave the U.S.
Good news: Dems have found a way to control America’s carbon footprint. According to Fox News, over half of Kamala voters want to leave the U.S. But the bad news, according to Fox, is that most can’t afford to do so. There’s no doubt that some of the wealthy liberal elites will leave to enjoy life as expats.
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The Circle of Life Continues for Florida Legislature
State Representative Mike Caruso (R-West Palm Beach) has a cute new grandson named Colt Caruso.
Former State Representative Elizabeth Fetterhoff, who will be running for State Senate in 2026, is having a baby girl. She has yet to pick out a name, but word on the street is that someone has been lobbying for the name Tracy, considered a beautiful name by those named Tracy, Tracey, Tracie, Traci, and Traceee.
Eataly to Open in West Palm Beach
According to the Palm Beach Post, world-renowned food hall Eataly is coming to CityPlace in West Palm in 2025. The marketplace will open in the stunning 100-year-old historic Harriet Himmel Theatre. The upscale food hall will be a mix of sit-down restaurants and takeout, offering delicious Italian foods.
Not All Celebs Are Terrible
Anna Kendrick donated all proceeds from her Netflix film Woman of the Hour to domestic violence victims. The movie is a true crime thriller about a serial killer who was on the T.V. show The Dating Game and became known as The Dating Game Killer. At the time the episode was aired, the contestant had already murdered at least five women.
Who are we kidding? Most celebrities are horrible, but the most famous celeb, P’Nut the Squirrel, didn’t die in vain. Keep those Trump signs in Florida, folks, and maybe now you won’t get punished. 2025 is almost here, which means South Floridians will be able to get some of the best Italian food outside of Italy. Only in Florida, friends. Only in Florida.
Other stories you may want to read:
- Shocking Shift! Fla. Rep. Susan Valdés Ditches Dems For Republicans - December 10, 2024
- Accused of Racism And Misogyny for Voting Trump – Hispanics Speak Out - November 15, 2024
- The Latest Scoop With Tracy Caruso - November 12, 2024