Republican Jewish Coalition Updates From Vegas
Last year’s RJC conference in Vegas had some exciting moments. Donald J. Trump gave a rousing speech, and Pence announced that he was dropping out of the Republican presidential primary. The new Speaker of the House at the time, Mike Johnson, gave his first speech, which was terrific. This year wasn’t quite as exciting, but one thing is clear from listening to all of the speakers. Republicans care about Jews and Israel, and this is the party to support if you want what’s best for America and don’t be fooled by Kamala Harris.
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Senator Joni Ernst said that Kamala Harris is beyond sympathetic to Hamas and went on to say Kamala isn’t a friend to the Jews.
Senator Norm Coleman referred to liberal Senator Chuck Schumer as Chuck Schmuck, which means that if I ever write about him in the future, his name is now Schmuck Schumer.
A few young influencers spoke. One was Boca Raton local Elizabeth Pipko, who is Jewish and dedicated to helping Donald J. Trump become our 47th president. Another was Emily Austin, who says we need to normalize Zionism. One young man who is a former Democrat spoke. He says he believes in a fifteen-per-hour minimum wage and a woman’s right to choose, but he’s voting for Donald Trump for president.
Congresswoman Elise Stefanik said of former university president Claudine Gay, who agreed with Palestinian protestors, “No. It doesn’t depend on the context.”
Coach Bruce Pearl, the Jewish basketball coach at Auburn, Alabama, said, “We live in the greatest country in the world. Let’s hope it stays that way.”
Donald Trump said, via live video, “We’re going to tell comrade Kamala, you’re fired.”
If You Love ‘Em So Much, Why Don’t You Marry One
Democrat Palm Beach County Clerk of Courts Joe Abruzzo also flew to Vegas for the Republican Jewish Coalition. For those who don’t know, Palm Beach County invested in Israeli bonds because of him. Abruzzo may be a Democrat, but he loves Republicans. Next month, he’s marrying a lovely Republican woman who is a former police officer.
Law Enforcement Takes a Shot at Mayor
Naples Mayor Teresa Heitman, who allegedly ran over a neighbor’s mailbox, was caught on body cameras during a sobriety test repeating, “Don’t call me mayor.” Between Heitman and the West Palm Beach mayor who, according to @Floridaman on Instagram, supposedly couldn’t find his way home when he was less than sober, these elected officials should consider drinking at home while watching the new Golden Bachelorette, which airs September 18th on ABC and Hulu.
Caught Red Handed
It turns out that an aide for Governor Hochul of New York was charged as a Chinese Spy. Rest assured that we do better background checks in Florida and would have caught this woman red-handed.
Kamala Flibbiddy flops on Israel
First, Kamala stole Trump’s Tax on Tips idea, and now she loves Israel. According to the NY Post, a House Democrat has said that Kamala is taking a “new direction” on Israel. If she wins in November, she will reportedly back conditions on US aid to the Jewish state.
Meanwhile, Facebook Needs New Fact Checkers
Facebook now considers the known Hamas “death to Jews” trope “From the River to the Sea” to not be hate speech. I’m guessing we’ll be seeing a lot more #IStandWithIsrael posts.
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What Tracy is Watching
Nicole Kidman and Liev Schreiber are the stars of Netflix’s latest “whodunit” series, “The Perfect Couple.” It’s a six-episode limited series, and so far, just looking at the beautiful summer beach scenery is enough to keep me glued. For those who can’t get enough of this show, try reading the book by Elin Hildebrand, which has the same title.
Wu-Tang Clan Rapper Endorses a Republican for Congress
Rap Artist Remedy, an affiliate of Wu-Tang Clan, has endorsed Republican Candidate for Congress Joe Kaufman, who is currently running against incumbent Democrat Congressman Jared Moskowitz-Broward County. Remedy is known for his song “Never Again” about the Holocaust.
With a background in counter-terrorism, Joe Kaufman has dedicated his life to fighting hatred and violence. -Rapper Remedy
Rosie the Robot Could Be Cleaning Your Home Sooner Rather Than Later
Wealth 1X Technologies has introduced the Neo Beta, a humanoid robot designed for home use, which means my dream of the Jetsons robot maid doing the dishes and folding laundry could finally come true.
Kamala Gets Spicy
Fox News reported that Kamala, who is in Pennsylvania presumably getting ready for her big debate with Trump, was at a spice store. Note to self: Warren and the beer, Hillary Clinton and the hot sauce, and Kamala with spices equals food, which makes you seem relatable to the average American, even if most people can’t afford bespoke spices from a fancy artisanal store.
Oceans Make People Happy
According to @wealth on Instagram, living near water will make you feel calmer and more serene and promote a general feeling of well-being. This is great news for Floridians, who are almost always near some water. Heck, just looking at a bathtub makes me feel happy.
Ass*hole Doc Reprimanded
Dr. Ishwari Prasad of Tampa Ambulatory Center has been reprimanded for two colonoscopies gone wrong, according to the NY Post. One can ass-ume Tampa residents are butt hurt about this.
Put Some Lipstick on You, Psycho
A particular barefaced female politician didn’t like something I wrote about her. I thought she was going to kill me. It turns out I may have been on to something. The Archives of Sexual Behaviors, according to the NY Post, has stated that “lady psychopaths” are less likely to wear makeup.
Only in Florida, and sometimes in Vegas, my friends.
Other stories you may want to read:
- It’s Fall-Tracy Caruso Tells All - October 2, 2024
- PBC Sheriff Ric Bradshaw Running Strong for Re-Election - September 26, 2024
- Tracy Caruso Wants You To Know These Things - September 24, 2024