Tracy Caruso’s Naughty New Christmas Classics Movie List
The Christmas season is here, decorations go up, and everyone seems a little nicer. It’s a time of love, happiness, and Christmas movies. We all have our list of holiday classics that we watch year after year. This list is for the Christmas movie person looking for something new to put on their permanent holiday rotation list and wants something funny and maybe a little bit dark and naughty. Ho, ho, ho. You’ve come to the right place for those looking for something new for your permanent Christmas movie list. This one is for you.
Disclaimer: These movies are Christmas, but they made it to the naughty list for a reason. They’re not for the kids.
Without further ado, little drummer boy drum roll, here are the top four new naughty classics.
The Night Before (2015)
The Night Before is the oldest “new” movie on the list. It has been out for eight years, so it’s not exactly new, but compared to Elf, a movie considered a more contemporary classic that’s been out for twenty years, it’s new. I found the film so funny that I saw it twice when it was first in theaters. It’s about three friends from childhood who consume copious amounts of drugs before going to a “one last Christmas party” together. There are a lot of comedic stars in this one. Michael Shannon, a seriously underrated actor who I consider one of my generation’s best actors, plays the part of the former high school pot dealer. His performance is magical. Seth Rogan is one of the three friends. He proudly and unapologetically wears a Star of David Hanukkah sweater throughout the movie, which is why this movie was also first on my Hannukah movie list, even though it is a Christmas movie. The one is just laugh-out-loud funny. It may inspire you to see every Seth Rogan movie, and for those of you with an artsy, intellectual side, watch those Michael Shannon films.
Bah Humbug. I see you, Scrooge fans. Spirited stars Ryan Reynolds and Will Ferrell in a modern, musical retelling of Charles Dickens’s A Christmas Carol. The first thing I thought while watching was that I couldn’t believe what entertaining performers these stars are. They really should make this one into a Broadway play. Will Ferrell’s Elf is part of my yearly Christmas movie-watching tradition, and Spirited is now. “Good afternoon” means something a little different in the world of this movie, along the lines of “Go elf yourself,” and the song they sing about it is destined to be a new holiday musical classic, along with Jingle Bell Rock.
Genie, the newest movie destined to be a classic on this list, is now streaming on Peacock and stars the always-hilarious Melissa McCarthy, who plays the part of a genie. This one is about a workaholic who is about to lose his family. He finds McCarthy, a genie, and gets her to help win his family back. There are plenty of laugh-out-loud moments in this one, and I must admit it: McCarthy, as a genie, feels pretty believable.
Violent Night (2022)
Do you like action, violence, and the show Stranger Things? If so, you’ll love Violent Night, starring David Harbour, Hopper from Stranger Things, as Santa. You’ll love watching Santa fight a bunch of bad guys who have taken an obnoxious, wealthy family as hostages in their home in Greenwich, Connecticut. The movie also stars such notables as John Leguizamo and Beverly D’Angelo. You’ll love the violence, which feels utterly justified in the context of this story. You’ll get a few laughs, and as twisted as the plot is, the proof that this should have classic movie status is that there’s a sequel in the works.
We hope you’re having a wonderful holiday season. Remember, you don’t need a genie if you put love in the world. Always keep up the good fight against evil, like Santa. Enjoy your friends the night before or any night, and good afternoon to those who deserve it. Merry Joltmas to all!
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