As 2023 ends, many people will party like it’s 1999, and many will stay home with loved ones. New Year’s is a time of celebration where we say goodbye to the old year and ring in a new year, which means it’s time for a self-delusion called making New Year’s
resolutions.
Last year, Florida Jolt covered New Year’s resolutions, what they are, and how many follow through. Spoiler alert-most never do, but there is a trick to this thing. Make reasonable resolutions, and you may do it. We checked in with those mentioned in last year’s article. Read on to learn more about the most common New Year’s resolutions, the follow-through stats, and what happened for those who told us what they planned on doing.
A New Year’s resolution is a sadomasochistic tradition in which a person resolves to change undesirable behaviors and accomplish personal goals. The main idea is to try to be a better version of yourself. Many people dread this and for a good reason. Most of us could benefit by not becoming a worse version of ourselves.
A YouGov poll conducted found that about one in five Americans say they have resolved to do each of the following twisted things in the new year:
Improve their physical health (20%), save more money (20%), exercise more (19%), or eat healthier (18%). Other people will focus on happiness (17%) or losing weight (17%).
I decided to take the scientific approach and have friends weigh in. Their entirely unrealistic goals consisted of crazy ideas such as not cursing. Please. I did mention that I asked friends. If they stop cursing, that’s the end of being able to talk. Some want to “save money.” When I suggested not spending money on things they’d been lying to their husbands, they realized this might not be a resolution they could keep. Meditation was a big and annoying surprise. Many people wanted to give themselves a self-imposed timeout for some unknown reason.
Another was being less judgmental, a sick goal that I would never speak to the world.
If anything, these people should be resolving to be more judgmental. I know they can all do that. Another was giving yourself one compliment a day like that guy used to do in the Saturday Night Live skit. “I’m good enough, smart enough, and dog-gone-it, people like me.”
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Others laughed and said they were planning on spending more money and drinking more, which sounds about right, or they didn’t believe in New Year’s resolutions, a clear indication that they’ve failed any time they tried this.
Let’s face it. Most make unrealistic resolutions. They fail at accomplishing some colossal goal, and then they give up.
According to insideoutmastery.com, a summary of the key findings:
•38,5% of US adults set New Year’s resolutions every year.
•23% quit in the first week, and only 36% make it past the first month.
•9% successfully keep their New Year’s resolutions.
This is good news. Most of you who quit aren’t alone. 91% won’t do it.
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If you’re serious about a resolution, do yourself a favor and pick something in your wheelhouse. My friend Ari Whiteman says his 2023 goal is to “piss people off like never before.” This is a perfect resolution for him. He’s excellent at annoying people. You can do it, Ari!
So, did Ari do it? The answer is a resounding yes! He accomplished his goal and plans to continue. For 2024, he’s expanded his goals a bit. He told Florida Jolt that he’s planning on working on redevelopment efforts in Riviera Beach. He’s working on a comprehensive plan to present to the commission in June. But for those of you in Delray Beach, fear not. He will also make life a nightmare for specific candidates running for local office. Stay tuned.
The following people who made resolutions were Keith Black and Dan Liftman. Keith Black’s goal was to “drink better scotch.” Dan Liftman said, “Spend more time volunteering on worthwhile projects.” As last year’s article mentioned, there’s always a do-gooder in the group.
So, did they do it? Keith did accomplish his goal. He did drink better scotch. He switched from Johnny Walker Black to Macallan. He did mention that scotch is a matter of personal taste, but for him, Macallan was the superior scotch. For this New Year’s Eve, he’s planning on having Macallan with a fine cigar. His New Year’s resolution is to finish restoring a classic car. Sounds like a great goal to me. As for Liftman, we never heard back from him. Bah humbug.
The resolutions people told us about on social media stood out: Tennille Decoste, a candidate running for Delray Beach commission, plans to lose weight to fit into her wedding dress. Amanda McChesney Anderson intends to teach as many people as possible about God. Lynn Sylvestri Adrian is learning to play mahjong and joining my book club. I plan on holding her to that one—many plan on praying more, and of course, many plan on exercising more.
At the end of the year, New Year’s resolutions are a great thing. Resolutions are goal-setting. Everyone wants to accomplish something. Everything I’ve experienced during the last half century says to make resolutions that resonate with your soul, and if you have found something you’re good at that makes you happy, resolve to do more.
Happy New Year, Jolt Readers. May 2024 be your best year yet.
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